The Three Truths
Why You and Your Partner Keep Seeing Things So Differently.
You know those moments where you and your partner are both trying to explain your side, but it feels like you’re having two completely different conversations?
You’re talking about the same thing, but somehow you’re both walking away feeling misunderstood, unheard, or frustrated.
It might start with something small, like the dishes, the tone in their voice, or them not helping out when you needed support.
But underneath, there’s a build-up of emotion that doesn’t match the size of what’s actually happening.
And then you’re both stuck in that familiar loop again.
They say you’re overreacting.
You say they don’t listen.
Both of you feel unseen.
The truth is, you’re not imagining it. You really are experiencing the same moment differently.
Recently, I heard something that really stayed with me:
There are three truths in every story.
Yours.
Theirs.
And what really happened.
It makes sense when you think about it.
We all see life through the lens of our own experiences, the memories, hurts, and conditioning that have shaped us.
Our nervous system plays a big part in that.
When we feel safe, our body stays open. We can listen, understand, and respond calmly.
But when we feel triggered or unseen, our body shifts into protection.
That’s when conversations turn into misunderstandings.
When something small suddenly feels huge.
Because the argument isn’t really about what just happened. It’s about what it brought up in you.
Maybe it touched the part of you that’s tired of carrying so much.
Or the part that still feels like no one really considers you.
Or maybe it stirred something old, like the feeling of having to do everything on your own.
It’s the same for them too.
They’re responding through their own nervous system, their own history.
So both people are trying to protect themselves, and no one feels safe enough to really listen.
It’s rarely about who’s right or wrong.
It’s about what each person’s body is remembering.
When we can start to see conflict through that lens, something softens.
It doesn’t make the hurt disappear, but it helps us understand where it’s coming from, and that’s where real change begins.
Next time you find yourself in that same cycle, pause before reacting.
Take a breath.
Notice what’s happening in your body.
Ask yourself, “What part of me feels threatened or unseen right now?”
That awareness alone can start to shift everything.
Because when we can see the story beneath the surface, we stop fighting each other and start understanding what’s really being asked to be seen.
If you’re finding yourself stuck in these patterns and want to explore what’s happening underneath, this is the work I support people with. Reconnecting with your body, understanding your nervous system, and creating space for deeper, safer connection within yourself and your relationships.
Love CP
